We've got college visits lined up.
It's Fall, she's a senior, and I'm trying to avoid posting things on social media that echo the posts of so many other women my age, because, well, they all sound the same. Things like, 'where has the time gone?', 'when did my baby grow up?', and 'seems like just yesterday' are sentiments of moms (like me) who suddenly realize how quickly kids grow and just aren't ready to let go.
Whenever I feel myself saddened by this passage of time, I snap out of it and pat myself on the back for a job well done. I mean, did I really think she'd stay little forever?
I force myself back in time, back to what life was like for me, on the verge of eighteen. Little mattered to me. I was merely consumed with make-up tutorials in Seventeen magazine and scoring a new pair of Tretorns. I counted down the months of the school year, by stressing about finding a date to the next big dance. I know one thing for sure, my parents never worried about their baby going off to college, in fact, they had already shipped one there. Being the second child, I sometimes wondered if they knew I was in the house. Surely, I jest. But, back in the late 80's, parents weren't nearly as consumed by their children's lives as we are today. And the result is, many of us are having difficulty letting go. Back then, our parents let go much earlier in life, letting us be latch key kids, 'cause our moms were hell-bent on 'bringing home the bacon and frying it up in the pan.'
As I look back at my almost-eighteen self, I see a young girl who had no idea she was a few short years from meeting the man she would share the rest of her life with, raising a family. It's weird to look at my daughter and realize she is almost at that age. But, I know it would be much weirder to keep her in a bouncy seat until I'm ready to deal.
So, we'll visit colleges, she'll struggle with choosing a major, and I'll have to accept the passing of time. I'll cross another bridge of motherhood, reminded of how little any of this is about me.
And I'll quietly wonder, just to myself, just where in the hell the time has gone.