dar liomsa (in my opinion)

My love- hate relationship with October.

I love you because you are the real deal. You are a real fall month with really cool temps.

You are crunchy leaves all over the ground. You are hoodies and sweats, and no need for pedicures for a while.

Yet, with all of this love going on, you are also Halloween.

Halloween, as in, three children who just can't decide which expensive costume they want to choose. Then once we convince them to be a homemade costume, we spend twice as much energy and almost as much money, running from store to store for all the bits and pieces.

Halloween also means pulling out decorations. You know I hate clutter. This is just a glimpse of the months to come, as Christmas requires even more.

It's also the birthday of my middle child. The child who invites no less than 10 other children her age to spend a night of refrigerator raiding and non sleeping in my house.

It's 'did you make enough cupcakes for my entire class and extra for me to deliver to every teacher in the building?

It's school Haloween dances, juiceboxes for dance class, on top of sign my tests, I need poster board and my lunch box broke.

Maybe you will be more understanding when October rolls around again and the blog posts slow.

Please know, I am knee deep in love (and or hate) with October.

Some days we need a little extra pat on the back.

Someone in our corner, cheering 'good job.'

On those days, when no one is there to toot our horn, we'll take just about anything.

For me, it's the spell check balloon announcing 'no misspellings have been found".

Whenever I read this message, I let out a little "YES!".

Proud to have written 120 words, and not one of them spelled incorrectly.

It definitely is the little things.

 

I have been blessed with three beautiful children.

Three children, whom, even if they weren't beautiful I would still love.

I am reminded daily what I love about each of them.

As I watch them deal with life, I am always impressed.

A recent discussion with one of my children left me assured that they are going to be alright.

While discussing a situation that happened in school, and how my child felt about it, it was summed it up very clear and to the point.

"Mom, I don't worry about people like that. Because when they act that way, I just think to myself, that kid is going to be working for ME someday."

I believe my work here is done.

 

To say, your life changes when you have kids does not say enough.

It's an understatement that can not even attempt to include how many changes there are.

Your body, emotions, and list of important things all take a shift.

As each child is born, the world takes on a different meaning.

Your own dreams and wishes, stop for awhile as they begin to discover theirs.

It's a beautiful thing, being a mom. Except when it's not.

It's also a great excuse for things like memory loss, peeing your pants every time you cough, and crying every time you watch that makeover show and hear those people yell, "Move that bus!"

Gets me every time.

When it comes to marriage and happiness some might argue that the key is never going to bed angry.

Or possibly leaving love notes or whispering sweet nothings.

In my opinion, the key to a long and happy marriage is the words that are not spoken.

Biting your tongue, until it bleeds perhaps, to avoid criticizing anything your spouse does to help around the house.

Fighting the urge to scream out, "small spoons go with small spoons and big go with big" after he has dutifully emptied the dishwasher, can be the key to a long marriage or at least a peaceful evening.

We took the kids to the Halloween store last night.

We tried on masks and laughed at one another.

We pretended to be scared by zombies, rats, and spiders.

We left with nothing, refusing to pay for expensive costumes worn only for one night.

On the ride home, we brainstormed what each child would be for Halloween and what we had at home to make it happen.

Sounding so grown up, lecturing that that's how we did it when we were kids.

Proving once again, that yes, we all become our parents eventually.

Strange as it may sound, I do not carry an umbrella.

I am quite prepared in most situations, rain not being one of them.

It's not that I am strongly opposed to umbrella carrying, I simply choose not to.

Umbrellas, like sunglasses, do not stay in my possession very long.

I have always lost, misplaced, or broken any I have ever owned.

On a windy and rainy day, they are useless.

I don't travel far from my vehicle, no matter where I roam.

I am often found jogging in a sudden down pour, purse over my head.

I'm okay with that.

Recent experience has proven, I, indeed, will not melt.

I will, however, be stained from wet denim and also lose any semblance of a hairdo.

Luckily, these are not life threatening situations.

So, rather than lug a wet soggy umbrella around, I'll take the temporary inconvenience. I'll look like a drowned rat, an unprepared one at that.

If you see me in the grocery store on a rainy day and I look a little soggy, do me a favor?

Don't judge.

#Overheard at our house, Sunday night:

Wait a minute, tell me again why  you're mad at me?

Because of a  man I saw in Target.

I'm hoping you have more of an explanation than that, because I am lost.

I took the kids to Target, while you stayed home.

Riiiiight?

Well as I was shopping, I passed a cute young couple, she was shopping and he was pushing the cart.

Sooooo?

He was also wearing a baby papoose and thumbing through coupons for his wife.

And this is why you're mad at me?

I'm just saying, you never do that!

Um, we don't have a baby.

I know, but even when we did, you refused to wear that papoose.

And you surely wouldn't have thumbed through a  coupon file while doing it

And for this you hate me?

Not hate.

And for this you are angry with me?

Yes, a little bit.

 

You know how things in our imagination are so much nicer than reality?

The painted picture always more bright and cheery than the pencil drawing.

What I'm trying to say is, back when I decided to become a stay at home mom, my vision never quite matched the reality.

When one decides to become a stay at home mom, rarely is it a conversation over a pile of bills paid in full and huge bank balances. It's never, 'hey honey we are making so much money right now, why don't you quit that little old job of yours and stay home to raise the kids.' In my case, it was a detailed spreadsheet proving that being a working mom of young children, was costing our family money.

My decision to be an at home mommy came one night sitting on the un carpeted steps of our home. My youngest sat in her hi -chair waiting to be freed, while my three year old twirled and twirled. Before me, I saw two precious girls who were spending their days without me. Albeit they were lovingly cared for by their aunt, a fact that still couldn't lift the guilt that filled my chest everyday as I drove off to work.

On this particular evening between sobs, tears, and tissues I announced to my husband that I would no longer be going to work. It was a statement that left no room for argument or discussion. It was a choice made from my heart.

My vision of being a SAHM was painted with walks in the park and playdoh afternoons. The reality brought walks and playtime, along with a day's worth of chores and overcompensating.

Each morning would start eaarlier than a work day required, but what got me out of bed was knowing I could nap later in the day, when the kids napped. In reality, I never took that nap. Sometimes knowing you could do something if you wanted , even if you never do it, can get you through.

The decision I made that night, changed our family dynamic forever. My children will always remember their days spent with mom and I will always remember the day I lifted the burden of guilt.

It was soon replaced by other mom guilt, but that's another blog for another day.

#Bullying is a trending topic this week, with the major news channels stepping up to the plate.

Celebrities, talk show hosts, and bullying victims have teamed up to bring about awareness.

Ironically, facebook has jumped in as a sponsor as well.

Facebook,  the ultimate breeding ground for bullying teens.

The place where millions of teens gather to chat, post pics and ridicule one another.

Bullies of this generation have more means and methods to complete the task.

When I was a bullied kid, things were different.

Rumors were whispered and not typed.

When I was told someone wanted to beat me up, it was story passed up and down the aisles of a school bus, not typed on someone's wall.

In either case, I truly wish someone had told me the solution.

I wish someone would have imparted their wisdom to me, on how exactly to handle a bully.

The answer, and the only way to shut them down is to stand up and call them out.

It's tough advice to follow, when you are the one being pushed around. The reality is, a child who bullies is just as afraid as the child they are bullying. They hide it well because they are louder and usually buffered by friends.

Calling out the biggest and loudest in the bunch will usually put an end to any further harassment.

It's unfortunate that it has taken me so many years to figure it out.

Once you're old and starting to gray your best weapon against bullies, is success.

There is nothing like it.

It's so sweet, they can smell it.

No words are necessary at that point.