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  • Location: United States

One-Line Bio

Freelance Writer. Humorist. Mom. Wife. Living the Dream.

Biography

I'm a Blogger. But, not one of those Mommy-Bloggers, you know, I'm not someone who gets paid to endorse sh*t. In fact, no one pays me for my blog. Which is why I write about stupid people, life observations, and basically anything I choose. In 2009, when I was a young(er) and hungry, I blogged every day. Four years later, I'm still hungry but now I blog once a week. The reason is, my blog has led to other opportunities which I will list for you now. And, by the way, I'm always hungry. Well, not as much now that I'm getting the right amount of protein in my diet, but, you know.

I'm a Freelance Writer. This means I pitch story ideas to my local newspaper, they decline, then I go back to blogging. Occasionally, I author little projects that people bring to me. I piece together words in grammatically correct form (sans humor) and write copy for businesses. Boring? Yes. But it pays a bill or two.

I'm a Social Media Manager. I run social media channels for businesses, saying what they don't have time to say on Facebook, Twitter, and even Google+. I know, who knew Google+ was a thing, right? But it is. And I'm there, only you don't realize I'm there because I'm busy pretending to be other people. Again, I check my humor and wit at the door on these projects because, well, it's just not the message they're looking to send.

I'm a Chronic Query-er. My manuscript is close to done, despite the many passed deadlines I have set for myself. Sometimes, late at night, I quietly stalk the Twitter accounts and websites of Literary Agents. Searching for some insight on what exactly they seek and how I can become that. Like an awkward High schooler trying everything she can to get in that 'cool girl' clique.

It's a strange kind of thing, seeking acceptance from complete strangers in the hopes that they will be convinced that your story, your book, your blood, sweat, tears, and years of writing, is the one they should be shopping to Publishing Houses. While at the same time convincing them that you have enough followers (social media, that is) that will, indeed, buy said book.

Which leads me to my next project, which is Top Secret at the moment. But don't worry, when it goes public, YOU my faithful Blog readers will be the first to know. Well, sort of.

Interests